Today we sit down with the unabashed and articulate Kenny Powers from HBO’s hit sitcom Eastbound & Down. Powers career recently took a turn south, driving to Copales, Mexico, where he’s now rocking cornrows and assumed the alter ego, Steve Janowski. Biding his time throwing pitches, cockfighting, and partying with Aaron the midget, he has still yet to pick up a fly rod. Here’s why. —GM

  1. Well first of all, I’m no f—king queer. As most of you know I drive a high-powered Sea-Do. I like trolling but it’s usually Mexican strip clubs for classy ladies.
  2. When my ass was 19 years old, I changed the face of professional baseball. I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi-million dollar deals, endorsements. Everyone wanted a piece of me… Donny Beaver, Sage, Reebok, and you dicks at The Drake Magazine. I’m just a man with a mind for victory and an arm like a f—king cannon. But sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm.
  3. No, actually I don’t. I do SPORTS. Not try to be the best at high-stick nymphing.
  4. Oh, you think that’s funny? How ’bout I show you my balls right now and you can tell me if they shrunk, huh? No, for your information, I have full-size balls. Next question.
  5. F—k man, I’m a bulletproof tiger, dude!
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Geoff Mueller is senior editor at The Drake. He lives in Fort Collins, Colorado. Follow him: @thedrakemagazine, @geoffmonline.

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